Paul King - Lead vocals/ipad

Paul was raised by wild dogs in Indonesia before being rescued by missionaries. He grew up in Leeds and moved into the lard business. He now runs a clog segging shop in Cleckheaton

Dave Knowles - Lead Guitar

After years of resenting his brother's success on TV programs slapping MDF and Hammerite on peasant housing, Dave decided enough was enough and had to finally let his talent outshine Nick's.

Claire Grace - Sax/Flute

After spending 30 years as Hartlepool's only British born Japanese Shamen, Claire returned to Yorkshire to take up her first calling - playing Sax and Flute in an 80s covers band.

Javan Webb - Drums

Javan hails from Birmingham. That's all we know as we can't understand a word he says. In fairness, we only know he's from Birmingham because of that.

Mick O'Duckworth - Keyboards/Spoons

Oirish Mick first came to these shores during the potato famine of 1852 where he setup as a dung sculptor in a small workshop in Giggleswick. Nowadays he loves to paint sheep and milk pigs.

Ian Morris - Bass/Ale

Ian is the lovechild of Julio Iglesias and Bella Emberg. He is currently working on a PHD titled "How many pints should a bass player really drink on gig night".